Today was really fantastic. I had four hours of Hairspray today. I got made one of the three "Dynamites", found out I'm going to double as ensemble, AND, I was made a dance captain. So, right now I seriously feel like I'm on fire. Lol. I'm completely exhausted now though. Icing my legs so that I'll be able to move tomorrow when we go to visit family. Hopefully it will be a drama free day tomorrow. We'll see.

I believe that in the near future I will be getting involved in a showmance. Just saying.

Actually, that won't happen because apparently I'm mostly invisible.

I got cast in Hairspray! Now off to Baltimore for another audition. :)

Film audition tomorrow! I missed it today so my agent got me in for tomorrow! Hopefully it goes well!

I'm pretty sure I'm being lied to. I don't understand why people can't just be honest. If you don't want to do something, just say so. Don't be a douche about it.

Hairspray auditions were awesome. Had a really good time. I find out Tuesday or Wednesday I think. After auditions we came down to my mom's boyfriends house. His son's GF is here and I'm seriously about to punch her teeth out. I'm not a violent person, but my God. She's horrible. And we're spending the night and I'm going to go crazy if I have to listen to her all night.

On a happier note my love from Tennessee is coming. I adore that boy. Seriously the only person I can have a completely honest conversation with. If he wasn't gay I'd marry him. Lol. I'm so happy he's spending part of his summer here!

Hairspray audition tomorrow. I'm scared. As of today I'm officially a twitter addict, and words with friends is amazing. That is all. I've also set an 11:30 bedtime for myself. I've barely slept lately. It's horrible.

Why on earth do some people insist on being so obnoxious? I mean, I understand if you don't like me. That's fine, I don't like you either, but don't be a possessive jerk. We can all be civil towards one another.

And why oh why is my only really good friend that I can be completely honest with out of state? Why? It's just not fair.

I'm starting to apply to schools. AMDA, Marymount Manhattan, and The New School. We'll see what happens.

I love that my old teachers are trying to help me find a couch to stay on sunday night. Gotta love them!

My ride situation to get to the city seriously blows right now, so, it looks like I'm going by myself. And then I'll meet Courtney at the bus stop and she'll get me to where I need to be. I'm terrified.

On a better note, sang for my mom last night, and she was like, impressed. Which made me super happy because she's an incredibly harsh critic. So, she really wants me to go to these auditions. So, I'm praying that I can work things out, but I feel like this is a perfect opportunity to show that I'm ready to fight for this.

I am auditioning for the national tour of Shrek the Musical on Monday. And then I have auditions for Hairspray on Saturday. Getting headshots done this Thursday. Have a voice lesson on Wednesday. The person who is choreographing Shrek choreographed How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, which my friend Joey is currently in on Broadway, and my voice teachers wife (Jeanine Tesori) wrote the music for the show. So, I'm super excited, and shocked that I have these crazy connections.

I just vented about all sorts of crap on my tumblr, which is supposed to be what this is for. I guess I was looking for sympathy.

Instead of obsessing over something, I took action. And guess what? I feel a lot better now. Still haven't really gotten any result from it but doing something is always better than nothing, right?

I'd just like to say that I am so incredibly sick of being screwed over by guys. And it sucks, because at the same time I feel really lonely. And it just seems like things are going to be stuck this way forever and it makes me really sad. And I feel like crying. I want someone to love me for real. I don't want to be alone anymore.