I've been writing all day. It feels good. I have all of these thoughts and feelings that I need to get out and I just feel so much better with a couple extra thoughts out of my head. Something I can't get out of my head though, is the fact that I'm nearly positive I have my first post Josue crush. It's a little bit terrifying, to be honest. With Josue I put all of my feelings out there, trusting him with everything I had, and now he's gone. So I guess the idea of like, just putting myself out there again freaks me out. I don't really know what to do.  I thought I was being pretty straightforward with this person, and obvious about my feelings, but maybe he's completely oblivious, I don't know. Or maybe he's just choosing to ignore it. That's always a possibility too. It's a sucky possibility, but it's there. So, I don't know. I'm clearly a confused mess.

I start my discipleship this upcoming week. I'm so pumped. I need it.