I've been thinking about Josue constantly, and with that and the horrible fibromyalgia flare up that I've been enduring for almost a week now, I'm miserable. I pray to God but as a "baby Christian" as my mentor calls me, I truly believe that this is one of those times when I'm being tested, to see where I'm putting my blame, and how much strength that I have. But it's hard. It's really hard. I've gotten to the end of the day and all I want to do is cry.